Sunday, April 13, 2008

Men in speedos

So today's topic was going to be "why I hate skinny little french women with too much attitude" but then I saw something that needed to be addressed. So I'm standing at the front desk (yes par usual) and walking through my lobby was something that has disturbed me for a very long time. European men in speedos! I mean why? I don't care who you are it's not attractive. If you know me at all, you know I have love for a certain Mr Hugh Jackman but even he can't pull it off. See?

Not hot Hugh not hot at all. But I'm willing to overlook it because in most other arena's he's always so put together (we'll just forget about Van Helsing and that awful weave). Unfortunately the men in my lobby today did not even have the grace to look like that, instead this is what I was treated to.

And a little bit of this.

The only positive thing to come of this was the fact that I laughed so hard I forgot about the aforementioned french bitch. But please gentlemen if you're reading this blog and you own a speedo, burn it with all possible haste. If it's not hot on Mr Jackman I'm pretty sure it's not hot on you.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Really? REALLY?

So something about me must say, "please proposition me I'd love to be your mistress"! So I work with a guy (who will remain nameless though he's a jackass) who thinks its a good idea for us to get together. Normally I'd be flattered, I mean everyone wants to be thought of as attractive right? Only one small issue, he's freaking married! Ok two small issues I learned along time ago never to get involved with a co-worker, it does not end well. But the bigger issue is HE'S FREAKING MARRIED!!!!! Even worse he doesn't understand why I think this is a big deal. Really? REALLY? He figures that if he keeps asking then maybe just maybe I'll cash in my values that day and say yes oh please I'd love to do you in some seedy motel where no one knows me. Granted Carrie did it on Sex and the City but that was Mr. Big for crying out loud, (Can I say how excited I am about the SATC movie coming out in May!) not some broke down pathetic little man who fancies himself rico frickin suave! Ok so I'm no angel, I've broken up a boyfriend/girlfriend realtionship before (yeah low point in Julie O's life) but come on man have a little respect for the sancitity of marriage. Any self respecting woman or man out there should want better than to play second string. You stood before God and you're family and vowed to love and respect someone for the rest of your life, let's try and do that shall we? Sad thing is this is not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last something like this happens to me. I hate being single.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Insomnia or better titled only at 3am do I really believe I need a Ronco Frydaddy.

So I can't sleep. Which should be pretty obvious since I'm posting a blog at 340 in the morning. Insomnia has to be one of nature's most stupidest inconveniences. For no apparent reason you lay awake all night and watch the clock thinking if I fall asleep now I'll get 6 hours, then 5, then 4 and then you might as well get up. So what do you do, you hop online, read a book or turn on the TV. There really should be better TV on at 2 am. Honestly what genius decides that the best time to sell a Frydaddy, a dehydrator, or some acne cream is 2am? Wouldn't these companies be better served if they advertised during normal hours? However I've never had a stronger urge to purchase any of this crap then when I'm lying in bed and can't sleep so maybe they're on to something. No real point here other than me hoping this will help me fall asleep but not so much. Oh well, back to bed.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

I really don't like people...

So I kinda decided I really don't care for most people. I love my group of friends and family well most of my family but even some of them I don't really like. So still at work and still bored, I decided to hop onto one of favorite websites and play a few rounds of Drunken Master. If you haven't tried it you really should, it's an excellent waste of time. Anywho no sooner do I start playing, I'm interrupted. My concierge (God love her, she annoys the crap out of me sometimes) is all in a tizzy because someone left the gift shop without signing their room charge. So I suggest she call the room and offer to bring the receipt up for them to sign (yep this is why i get paid the big bucks). Well assmunch in the room says he didn't charge anything in the shop so she comes back for Plan B. I send a bellman up to the room with her to see if he can sign it but assmunch refuses to come to the door! Oh well we have a name and a room number I authorize the charge and attempt to return back to my Drunken Master. But can that be the end of it?! Nope, little Ms Assmunch decides to come down ranting and raving about how she was disturbed by our bellman and how dare we send someone to the room. Now normally it's my job to just sit back, slap a serene look on my face and take it, however in this instance Assmunch is an associate. Because of this I am authorized to tell dumb ass to control his woman or I'll be happy to take it up with his manager. Long story short Mr and Ms Assmunch calm down and continue on their merry way but not before my concierge verifies that they were not the one's to make the purchases in the shop. Well now I'm pissed first cause I should be enjoying my game while listening to the cool styling of Sade in my lobby and second cause now I have to write off $150 to bad debt because we unfortunately can't find the guy who actually made the charges. Why are people jackasses? Why most they take advantage? I once again try to return to my game but it doesn't hold the same joy. Then I stumble upon the blog of an old friend, well acquaintance, ok I barely knew him but that's besides the point. He is by far the funniest guy I've ever met. I took a few moments to catch up on his blog and all is right with the world again. People passing through my lobby thought I was nuts for cracking up for no reason but I'm happy again. Everyone should have the chance to laugh so hopefully Bryton won't mind if I point you in the right direction. Enjoy!

Wasting away

So I'm standing at the front desk as I often do and I get an email from some dear friends (shout out to Cambria and Sally) stating they created blobs and decided I needed to create one as well. Now everyone can enjoy my randomness. Topic for the day. Overpaid and underchallenged. If you're one of my friends and you probably are cause who else is gonna read this crap, you've heard me rant about the fact that I'm getting paid a decent salary to stand around and do nothing. This I do not understand. The company I sold my soul to about 12 years ago is currently in "contigency". Now this is just a fancy word that means not enough money is flowing to the bottom line and their already fat pockets. So what do we do. Well you gotta trim the fat right? Now to me that would mean maybe not having so many damn managers (why we need 17 is beyond me), but what that means to them is cutting back on associate hours and making thier managers (namely me) pick up shifts and waste a perfectly beautiful Saturday! I could be outside, I could be at the movies, I could be sleeping! Instead I'm here entertaining myself by ranting to the masses. As I'm prone to say often "That's just stupid!"
Just wanted to share, have a lovely day!