I hate being a dumb girl

So I've kinda realized I'm a dumb girl at times. Case in point. The hotel I work at is going through it's yearly quality assurance audit today (KJ you know what I'm talking about) anyways I figure we're being audited I need a new outift. Now I know the audit has very little to do with my personal style. I'm aware that my auditor is not going to be the little bitchy queen from Project Runway telling me I don't look fierce and we fail. However I wanted to shop and this seemed a pretty good reason to do so! So let me tell you a tale about procuring said outfit.

As I'm leaving work last night I decide to swing by the mall. So it's like 8:20, stores close in about 40 minutes but that's plenty of time. There are fewer things scarier than my ass under florescent lighting in changing rooms so I don't try anything on. I'm a big fan of trying it on at home and then just returning the crap I don't want. Anyways I figure 40 minutes is plenty of time to grab a few things and get on my way home. So I get to the mall, park and as I always do pick up my phone off the passenger seat and throw it along with my car keys into my open purse. I get out and shut the door only to realize the damn purse wasn't open! My keys and phone fell off my purse and are sitting on my seat inside my locked car. Damn it! So I call my mother (her's is the only number I know by heart), who then calls my 2 cousins and they come riding to my rescue with a tool box, wire hanger and bbq fork. Gotta love a resourceful woman. We flag down a passing security guard who happens to have a slim jim and 10 mintues later using slim jim, fork and wire hanger I'm in my car again! Oh happy day that can be summed up in one commercial.

BBQ fork - $10
Wire hanger - $0
2 shirts, pair of pants and kick ass heels - $100
Having a lesbian named Tiger ogle your breasts while she slim jims your car - Priceless